No, wait…this isn’t one of those blog postings about the over-commercialization of Christmas, and that whole “reason for the season” rant. I mean, let’s get real: Retailers do most of their business during these next few weeks. Sometimes it seems like the Lord created Christmas just to keep our economy afloat. So Happy Holidays, Best Buy!
No, this post is about something far more important…
The weather.
Every year here in Cali, we’re subjected to miles and miles of front yard tableaux, replete with cheap plastic statues of carrot-nosed snowmen and prancing reindeer. In the malls, an unending soundtrack of cheery winter songs like “Let it Snow!”
Here, sing it with me: “Oh, the weather outside is frightful…”
You want frightful weather? How about a snappy melody extolling temperatures in the 80s and 90s? Relative humidity dropping into single digits? Santa Ana winds out of the northeast at 60 miles an hour? Now that’s frightening Christmas weather! It’s called “Red Flag,” jolly St. Nick!
When will the rest of this country stop those on the East Coast from dictating the mood for the holidays, with their depressing motifs of snow and cold?
It was probably 72 and sunny in Bethlehem that day, for cryin’ out loud! If the baby Jesus wanted to become God incarnate in snow pack, he would’ve picked Oslo, Norway.
Jesus wants you to celebrate his birthday as it really happened: Hot and cloudless. He doesn’t even like the East Coast. Ever read a Bible story that depicts the Son of Man ice-skating? “Blessed are the snowboarders?”
No!
Take back the season…
Instead of heading up to the local mountain resorts, drive out to the desert and come back with your pick-up truck bed full of sand and creosote bushes. Decorate your front yard with plastic camels and sweaty Bedouins. For that big holiday meal, serve up roasted roadrunner and cactus. “Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow!”
That’s what Jesus would do for the holidays.
No, this post is about something far more important…
The weather.
Every year here in Cali, we’re subjected to miles and miles of front yard tableaux, replete with cheap plastic statues of carrot-nosed snowmen and prancing reindeer. In the malls, an unending soundtrack of cheery winter songs like “Let it Snow!”
Here, sing it with me: “Oh, the weather outside is frightful…”
You want frightful weather? How about a snappy melody extolling temperatures in the 80s and 90s? Relative humidity dropping into single digits? Santa Ana winds out of the northeast at 60 miles an hour? Now that’s frightening Christmas weather! It’s called “Red Flag,” jolly St. Nick!
When will the rest of this country stop those on the East Coast from dictating the mood for the holidays, with their depressing motifs of snow and cold?
It was probably 72 and sunny in Bethlehem that day, for cryin’ out loud! If the baby Jesus wanted to become God incarnate in snow pack, he would’ve picked Oslo, Norway.
Jesus wants you to celebrate his birthday as it really happened: Hot and cloudless. He doesn’t even like the East Coast. Ever read a Bible story that depicts the Son of Man ice-skating? “Blessed are the snowboarders?”
No!
Take back the season…
Instead of heading up to the local mountain resorts, drive out to the desert and come back with your pick-up truck bed full of sand and creosote bushes. Decorate your front yard with plastic camels and sweaty Bedouins. For that big holiday meal, serve up roasted roadrunner and cactus. “Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow!”
That’s what Jesus would do for the holidays.
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